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雅思寫作十大失敗開頭總結及修改

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雅思寫作十大失敗開頭總結及修改

如今雅思考試人數不斷攀升,相對競爭也越來越激烈,打分越來越嚴格。雅思寫作分數不高,怪雅思寫作考官壓分?你的雅思作文到底是打動雅思考官的雅思高分作文還是氣死雅思寫作考官的低分作文,經驗豐富的雅思寫作考官從開頭就能一眼識別你的雅思寫作功底。關于雅思寫作高分技巧,各位考鴨一定看了很多,對比自己的雅思作文,還是看不出自己低分的原因?你的雅思寫作沒有進步空間了嗎?那不如反過來,看一些雅思寫作失敗案例吧。

雅思寫作失敗開頭一:考官不吃中式客氣這套

典型失敗案例1:Topic 1-Should college students be allowed to get married?This topic is very interesting. I’m very interested in talking about this topic. Because I’m also a college student and I’m not married……

修改方案:關于寫作話題還是開門見山,直奔主題吧。In my opinion, it would not be a wise decision to allow college students to get married。

Topic 2-Will modern technology, such as the Internet, ever replace the book or the writing word as the sole source of information? (雅思寫作真題)

Ok, this topic is a very good topic. First, let me tell you a story: I have a friend, he likes go on the internet very much. Every day, he uses internet to read news or play internet games. So we can see the internet is more and more important in our daily life.

Topic 3-The importance of environmental protection.Oh, this topic is surely very important. Isn’t it? Of course! It’s really very very important!

雅思寫作失敗開頭二:中式英語表達

典型失敗案例:Topic 1-The happiest moment in your life.In our life, there are always some moments which make your heart flower opened angrily……

Topic 2- The population problem.The population problem is a very big problem. For example, in the city centers of Shanghai, we can always see people mountain people sea there.

Topic 3- Is there fairness in today’s business world?I think in today’s society, there is no fairness in the business world. For example, I always chopped when I go out buy things……

Topic 4- The advantage of being a nice person.Being a nice person have many advantage. I believe if a people always do bad things, he will get “baoying”.

雅思寫作失敗開頭三:觀點模糊不明

典型失敗案例: Topic-Should college students be allowed to get married?

I think this topic is very hard to say. Because I am still very little,only 17, and not married, so this topic is very difficult for me……

雅思寫作失敗開頭四:開頭就跑題

典型失敗案例:Topic-It is said that nowadays one can not acquire thequalifications and quality essential to success through university education. Towhat extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? (雅思寫作真題)

I think to success, we must have a lot of important qualities. To havethese important qualities, we must learn a lot of things, for example, English,music tools, and etc. We can learn these qualities from our teachers, our friends and from books. All in all, we can learn from many places.

雅思寫作失敗開頭五:語法錯誤

典型失敗案例:Topic-If children behave badly, should their parents accept responsibility and also be punished? (雅思寫作真題)

About this problem, my think is if children behave badly, then parents are not right. Because teach child is parent’s responsibility. So we also punish parents too besides children is also should.

雅思寫作失敗開頭六:沒有重點的開頭

典型失敗案例:Topic-The importance of environmental protection

This issue is surely very important, let’s talk about it!

雅思寫作失敗開頭七:用詞不當,表意不明

典型失敗案例:Topic-Should college students be allowed to get married?

I think college students should not be allowed to get married because they are very young and so we can’t take the responsibility to form a family.

雅思寫作失敗開頭八:重復和啰嗦要不得

典型失敗案例:Topic-Your opinion on DINK families

My opinion on DINK families is that DINK families is not a good thing. Andit is a bad thing. It brings no benefits to our society and it is even sometimesharmful to our society.

雅思寫作失敗開頭九:不嚴謹的中式諺語

典型失敗案例:Topic 1-Is it good to have a large family?

I think it is good to have a large family. Because we Chinese believe a sentence: “Many sons, many lucks”……

正確說法:Happiness lies in having many children

Topic 2 -Should we pretend to know everything or admit our ignorance?

We all know, our Chinese old fathers and grandfathers said: “Know is know, don’t know is don’t know”……

Topic 3- Do you think one’s character is greatly influenced by his/her family?

Chinese old words says very good: Dragon born dragon, phoenix born phoenix, rat’s son can make hole……

Topic 4- The advantage of being a nice person

I believe one sentence: “A good person is all life safe”. We Chinese people always say: “Good has good pay, bad has bad pay”.

雅思寫作失敗開頭十: 觀點片面

典型失敗案例:Topic1-The importance of confidence

In my opinion, confidence is the most important thing for a person. All thesuccessful people in the world are full of confidence. While those people whodon’t have confidence, they all have failed.

Topic 2 - The solution to the traffic problem

I think to solve the traffic problem, very easy! For those who don’t obeythe traffic rules, we should put all of them into prison. If we do that, I’msure there will be no traffic problem any more.

雅思寫作大作文范文:體育設施如何分配

真題范文:Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?(一些國家通過建造專門設施來訓練頂尖運動員,而不是提供人人都可以使用的體育設施,從而實現國際體育上的成功。你認為這是積極的還是消極的發展?

雅思寫作大作文參考范文

Many spectators would be too exhilarated to resist their feelings when they see their national flag rise with the national anthem in Olympic Games. These sports feats can hardly be achieved without some specialized facilities to train the most promising sportsmen. Although patriotism can be aroused by excellent performance, I hold the view that more sports facilities should be built to cater for the public.

One latent problem for the intended construction of specialized facilities exclusively for sportsmen is that it may dampen public’s enthusiasm for sports. Being discouraged from using the sports facilities, they are likely to believe that the access to sports is only a priority to a small group of top athletes. Whether these facilities can be utilized is based on how much contribution to the country people can make instead of the basic principle that each individual has the right to shape their bodies with some sports facilities.

It may also lead to a result that the potential talent pool of gifted athletes will be drained and lose its continuous supply. Most top sportsmen are not born to the stars, and their aptitude of sports occurs when they are jogging on the playground, playing tennis in the tennis court and running on the football pitch. Without the sports facilities accessible to the common people, their sports talent is unlikely to be found and then fully harnessed.

There are certainly some benefits of the specialized facilities construction. The top sportsmen can be professionally trained without much disturb of the public, thereby concentrating on their physical practice. They can also make full use of these facilities to boost their body and improve their professionalism. However, the beneficiaries are narrowly constrained with a small proportion of people and the sports resources are somewhat wasted.

專業設施建設當然有一些好處。優秀運動員可以經過專業訓練,不受公眾的干擾,從而專注于體育鍛煉。他們還可以充分利用這些設施來提高身體素質,提高專業水平。然而,受惠者僅限于一小部分人,體育資源有點浪費。

In conclusion, the benefit of sports facilities should be enjoyed by more individuals rather than only meet the needs of the sports elites.

雅思寫作大作文范文:面對面交流

雅思寫作真題范文:People believe that using mobile phones and computers to communicate. Therefore, people are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?(人們相信使用手機和電腦進行交流。因此,人們失去了面對面交流的能力。你在多大程度上同意或反對

People believe that using mobile phones and computers to communicate. Therefore, people are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

雅思寫作大作文參考范文

Now you are benefiting from the use of mobile phone and the Internet as social interaction media, could you imagine what your daily lives would be without these inventions? Some people claim that individuals are gradually losing face-to-face communication skills. Nevertheless, from personal perspective, online communication cannot make people lose the ability of offline communication.

Apparently, excessive use of the Internet and mobile phones has been undermining our interpersonal relationship offline. Even during a face-to-face conversation, it is no rare thing that everyone is busy looking at his cellphones, neglecting his friends or families across the dinner table. In addition, it has become incredibly easy to contact each other electronically and share information instantly in social community. Gone are the days when people could only communicate via fixed telephone or writing letters which took several days to reach others. So no one is not crazy about smart phones and computers which boast cutting-edge functions like sharing photos and videos with more friends simultaneously.

In spite of the popularity of technological progress mentioned above, never should we turn a blind eye to the irreplaceablity of face-to-face communication. It is common that many schools impart knowledge to students by teaching in classrooms instead of distance education. The same is true of the cooperation among companies, which needs face to face conversation to acquire trust with each other in advance. Furthermore, although online contact may possess increasing numbers of friends, the permanence of mutual relationships cannot lack face-to-face interactions, which can be confirmed by the example of the closest friends and even loving couples. Besides, solving tricky issues are generally more effective and more convenient by surrounding colleagues or friends than by those who live and work in remote places and need online communication.

此外,雖然網上交往可能擁有越來越多的朋友,但相互關系的持久性不可能缺少面對面的交流,這可以通過最親密的朋友甚至是恩愛夫妻的例子來證實。此外,解決棘手的問題通常比周圍的同事和朋友更有效,更方便,而不是那些在偏遠地區生活和工作的人,他們需要在線交流。



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